But What I Really Want to Do Is . . .

I’m toying with going back to screenwriting. With that in mind, I’ve got a couple scripts in the works. But while I’ve enjoyed the work I’ve done in film, I think I’d enjoy television more. My ideal job would be working on Bones or Sherlock or some such. Anything with strong character interaction and pithy dialogue, since I have a knack for that. OR . . . I could always write novelizations based on television shows. That would be fun, too.

Blogcritics

I used to be a contributing member to Blogcritics.org, but I stopped a few months before my oldest child was born (2005). Five years and two additional children later, I’ve decided to go back. My first contemporary review–my old ones still being available on the site as well–was posted yesterday evening. Short and sweet, here it is.

Everyone’s a . . .

Critic? Certainly, with the advent of online weblogs and journals and such, this is true. But more to the point, everyone’s a writer.

When I was younger and writing was my dream, the notion of getting published was something far more specific than it is now. “Getting published” meant that you sold what you wrote to a magazine or, better yet, a book publisher. And then your stories showed up in bookstores or on magazine racks. It was considered difficult to “break into” publishing, and there were limited options.

Now, however, anyone can be published. ANYONE. Whether on their own Web site(s)–including, but not limited to, blogs and online journals, many of which are free–or by self-publishing their manuscript. I’m one to talk, seeing as my short story collection is a Lulu.com publication. But I did have some stories (and poems) published in magazines prior, and striking out with so many others, I made the choice to combine a bunch of my stories into something more to satisfy myself than to expect praises or bestselling numbers. It was more to clear the decks for what I hoped would be coming: more of my writing being accepted for “traditional” (some would say “real”) publication.

There are a couple of ways to look at this, and this is ground that’s been trod all over in hundreds of classrooms and other forums, so I’ll try to be succinct. One is that the floodgates have been opened to many great and talented people who otherwise would never have a chance in navigating the narrow channels of traditional publishing. The other is that the floodgates have been opened to all the crap that used to be siphoned out by the storm drains that are agents, editors and publishers. I think it’s probably both; they aren’t mutually exclusive, after all. The floodgates are open–everyone can agree on that much. So yeah, the crap is getting through and so is a lot of fresh water (fish? fertile sediment?) that might not have made it otherwise. It’s more of a case-by-case thing than a general rule.

But now there’s a lot more water to navigate as well. By which I mean, you have to hunt harder for the good stuff because there is a lot of crap out there. I’m not talking about, or even thinking about anyone in particular. But I am starting to feel that the traditional publishers have ceased to paddle their canoes. Instead of looking for good material, they go back to their established wells again and again and figure everyone else can do their own thing. After all, they have very little motivation to find great new talent at this point. And even if they want to find new talent, they don’t have to look very hard. With everything that’s out there now, they can cherry pick from the lowest branches and not have to climb.

Am I mixing my metaphors? Probably. I do that a lot.

So what brought this on? Frustration, not with publishing but with myself for not being more disciplined in my writing. And still, even if I were superbly disciplined, I have to wonder whether it would be worth it. Would it pay off in today’s wonky system? Could I, should I, hope to get published? Or would I be on my own?

Paw Law

When I was, oh, about 12? I wrote a series of stories titled Paw Law. They were something like Miami Vice or The Godfather, only they featured my pets and those of my best friend (between us we’d had a lot of them, mostly cats). I have them in a notebook somewhere . . .

Nugget

The rain fell into the girl’s hands and bounced out again. But it was the hands that fascinated me and always had. She stood in the center of the western courtyard, her head turned slightly to her left as if she’d just heard something behind her. The right foot was planted firm, the left was behind her, the heel of her foot lifted and primed to step through. Her long braid was messy, and today it was easy to imagine the weather had done that. But it was her hands, the way the wrists nearly met at the small of her back and her palms turned up. It was like she was waiting for something to take hold of them, or someone maybe, and all at once I could picture it, this phantom friend running after her, calling her name and reaching to touch the suspended fingertips. Perhaps the girl had just been given bad news. Perhaps her friend was coming to cheer her. Or maybe it was nothing more than the girl not wanting to go to a piano lesson–

“Darcy.” I jumped guiltily at the sharp sound of Miss Jemm’s voice. It was, perhaps, impossible for any voice not to seem sharp in the utter quiet of my grandfather’s library, but Miss Jemm’s voice was sharp wherever she went, like a small but still potentially dangerous dog. “Darcy,” she said again, “what are you doing in here? Oh, and look, you’ve gone and got your skirt all dusty before tea.”

It was difficult not to get dusty in my grandfather’s house. But most especially in the library, which was a room I was sure the maids never came into. The dark green velvet of the window seat where I’d been kneeling had been made more of a sage color by the thick layer of dust that had accumulated. No small amount of it was now plain on my white leggings and the hem of my pink dress.

“Come down and let me see if I can brush it off,” Miss Jemm commanded.

I climbed down from the window seat and stood there as she swatted and muttered. The pearl and silver chain that held her glasses swung against my cheek, and I almost sneezed at the strong scent of her shampoo as her dark curls sailed beneath my nose.

“It’ll do, I suppose,” she finally sighed and rose. She was tall, and her long, green skirt made her seem taller still. Her white blouse was not fancy, but I knew it was well made and not inexpensive, even for a nanny.

Wanting to Write

I really want and need to do some writing. This is not possible under current circumstances. During the week I am home with one infant and–on alternate days–a preschooler. Come summer I will be home with said infant and preschooler every day. This does not give me enough uninterrupted time to sit and write.

And starting in the fall, our oldest will be in school every day but I’ll then have both my daughter and our infant (by then year-old) son at home. Again, no uninterrupted time expected. As it is, my husband is doing a small project at the moment, and I’ve had to get up from writing this blog post three times already–and counting.

My husband has told me more than once that he’d like to get to the point where I can write full time. I’d like to get to that point, too! But I don’t think it’s really fair to ask me to wait four or five years, to ask me to put my drive to write on hold while the kids get older.

That’s five times now, and the baby is currently in his crib and screaming. I can barely blog under these conditions, much less write.

My husband believes the kids will entertain themselves and each other in just a couple more years. Even waiting that long seems unfair to me, and that’s assuming he’s correct.

Can I write just on weekends? No, not really. Take today for example. Family time, and getting stuff done that can’t or doesn’t get done during the week. And even if I [attempt to] sequester myself in a room, I will surely be intruded upon. Either the kids or my husband will be coming in directly, or the very sounds of their various screaming, shouting, laughing, crying, and so on will distract me from my work. Likewise, I am not the sort who can sit in a coffee shop, library, park or other venue and get much done (though I’ve had moderate success in hotels, when I’m there alone and it’s quiet). But really, an empty house serves best. Empty for at least three hours.

What is the answer, then? I’m open to suggestions.

(Eight times, btw.)

Nick Terpiccio

Been getting a lot of great feed back on my middle-grade novel Nick Terpiccio: Eighth Grade Hero. Switching gears to finish it sooner rather than later.

Stats Update #4

Another rejection yesterday. They’re coming in very slowly now. That’s not surprising, since a lot of agents and publishers take weeks if not months to respond to queries. Trying not to get too discouraged and also trying to get some other writing done while I wait for answers.

Piano

Started piano lessons this week and will be picking up my own Korg LP-350 on Saturday.

If I Only Had a . . . Oh, Wait! I Do!

Had an MRI done of my brain this past week, as I’ve been diagnosed with hemihypesthesia. They just want to be sure there isn’t anything specific causing the condition (which is a big word to summarize that my left side and right side feel sensations differently).

One of almost 400 such pictures.

But now I at least have proof that my head is not empty! Jury is still out on “crazy” however.

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